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Marko in Unicorn of Death (1_116)

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Wizards and Warriors

by Galen Blackpool

Since we have discussed Star Wars on the list several times, I started to think about similarities between Star Wars and Wizards & Warriors characters. They really make good counterparts in some cases.

Erik and Luke- The impulsive hero who's always running off to do the right thing. Of course, Luke later faces temptation from the Dark side. Will Erik ever face a similar challenge?

Justin and Han - Another good match. Han would rather have avoided trouble and taken off with his reward. Justin would rather hang out in taverns than go on adventures. In the end though, both show up to save the day.

Marko and...now you might be thinking Chewie (big, strong, heroic sidekick), and I can see the point, but I say he's R2-D2. Chewie goes with the Han/Justin character, R2 is the sidekick to Luke. Marko tries to talk sense to Erik, R2 does the same to Luke. (Remember the way R2 kept asking Luke about going to Dagobah?) Marko speaks to animals, R2 talks to Death Star computers.

Traquill and...Obi-Wan? Kenobi is a classic wizard figure, but he's too serious. Tray's match is Yoda, a smart mouthed old geezer.

Belldonna and Obi-Wan - Hey, they both spend most of their time as ghostly figures that advise Erik and Luke.

Coulter and Boba Fett - Probably the best match up. Dangerous, mysterious men of few words. Both enjoy unbelievable popularity despite limited screen time. Both seem mercenary - the major difference that Coulter is hired by the good guys and Fett by the bad guys. But there's more! Both are last "officially" seen falling to their deaths in some sort of pit. And both unofficially return! Coulter in fanfic (and was apparently planned for another W&W episode if it had continued) and Fett in countless novels, short stories and comic books licensed from Lucasfilm. In both cases, their returns are shown to be due to miraculous escapes from their falls.

Princesses Ariel and Leia - not a lot in common other than the fact they are both Princesses and both incredibly kinky.

Voice of Skepticism (VoS): What are you talking about? Kinky?
Me: Well, Ariel has the thing for leather. And if you read the dialogue between her and Geoff in "The Games" (script for an unaired episode), you see that's only the tip of the iceberg.
VoS: Granted. But how can you call Leia kinky? Don't bring up the slave girl outfit, Jabba forced her to wear that.
Me: You're right (though we never did find out exactly how long it was before she changed out of it after she escaped. She seemed pretty comfortable with it). But I was talking about the fact that she couldn't let a movie go by without putting a lip lock on her own brother!
VoS: Oh come on! She didn't know he was her brother!
Me: But in the Ewok village when Luke gave her the news, what did she say? "I know. Somehow I've always known." I rest my case.
VoS: You're nuts. I'm leaving.
Me: Good. I can get back to the comparisons.

Cassandra and C-3P0 - Both serve Princesses. Both panic in a crisis. I wonder if poor Cassie, is ever going to get blasted to pieces and then reassembled with her head on backwards.

Dirk and Darth Vader - Both the main bad guys, though Dirk was the master of his empire while Vader served another more powerful villain.

Vector and...this is tough. Yes, he looks like the Emperor (wonder why that is?) but Vector is forced into the role of servant, while Emperor Palpatine called the shots. Plus, Vector has a better personality then old Palpatine. I guess we'll just match Vector with the villainous character that looks the most like him...Jabba the Hutt. :-)

Geoffrey and...nobody. Geoff has got too much personality to be one of the bland Imperials that Vader chokes whenever he's annoyed. Besides Vader and Palpatine, the only Imperial with personality was Tarkin, but he and Geoffrey couldn't be more different. I'll go with Geoffrey's match being Darth Maul, they both are great fighters and Kiri likes both of them.

Bethel and...nobody. No evil females in any Star Wars movie yet. Heck, there are hardly any females in the movies period. Hopefully, Episodes 2 and 3 will add some. The only comparisons Bethel could have now would be to Guri or Admiral Daala (from "Shadows of the Empire" and the "Jedi Academy" novels, respectively). Though I do think Bethel shops for clothing at the same place as Jabba's dancers.

That's all I can think of. Now we just need to sit back and wait for Dirk to say, "Erik, I am your father."

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