Lattinia in Skies of Death (5_116)

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Birthday Greetings

Anna M.C.
Ariel
Celine
CJ
Coulter
Crownhelm
Danishka
Debbie
Galen
Karen
Kiri
Mo
MsMoo
PaleJewel
Ristil
Tamara
Tigger
Trisha
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Vector
Vector's Monocle
Xena

1998

From: The Witch Bethel
Subject: Birthday Greetings for The Wizard Vector

Vector, can it be true? Is it really your birthday? My, my, you are full of surprises, you secretive little man. I must confess, I never really thought of you as being born, per se. It seems like such a . . . normal, human thing to do. Maybe something more along the lines of spawned or hatched, yes?

So exactly how old are you, then? No, dear, I didn't mean in dog years. Or lightning hawk years, either, for that matter. You were older than the Ashen Plateau back when I was still but a twinkle in some wizard's monocle.

So what's this I hear about you spending your birthday all alone while Dirk's busy killing Mo? We can't have that, now, can we? Why don't you just come over to my place, and we'll have a nice little birthday dinner, just the two of us. I'll slip into something more comfortable (skimpy and silvery, of course), and we can explore what you've got hidden under that naughty little hat of yours. Dear departed Mo told me so much about your abilities . . . your peach wine-making abilities, that is. Perhaps you could conjure a bottle or two to go with the tadmon? There's a dear. We can reminisce over old times together, talk about inconsequential things . . . like, for instance, that nasty rumor going around that you have some sort of wicked plot up your sleeve. Totally groundless, I'm sure. I mean, after all we've been through together, you'd never do anything drastic without consulting first with me, now, would you?

So be there at 8 sharp, Vector -- you know I hate being kept waiting. If you're a really good boy, I just might even let you play with my monocle.

Kiss kiss,
The Witch Bethel


From: Vector
Subject: Re: Birthday Greetings for The Wizard Vector

First... A note to all.

If I were the sort that apologized for not posting and other such rude behavior I would. But, after all, I am a wizard and an evil one at that. We donít make apologizes to anyone for anything, so Iíll simply say that Iíve been trapped within a wizardís haze for quite a while and only now managed to free myself from that prison. Iím here now, so on with the lovely Birthday greeting from Bethel....

Vector, can it be true? Is it really your birthday? My, my, you are full of surprises, you secretive little man. I must confess, I never really thought of you as being born, per se. It seems like such a . . .

BIRTHday is indeed, such an inaccurate description... But it is true that I came into existence on this day.

So exactly how old are you, then?

I'll tell you my dear, when you tell me first... ;-)

So what's this I hear about you spending your birthday all alone while Dirk's busy killing Mo? We can't have that, now, can we? Why don't you just come over to my place, and we'll have a nice little birthday dinner, just the two of us.

(Hmmmmm. I wonder where this is going?)

I'll slip into something more comfortable (skimpy and silvery, of course), and we can explore what you've got hidden under that naughty little hat of yours.

Hat??? What hat???

Dear departed Mo told me so much about your abilities . . . your peach wine-making abilities, that is. Perhaps you could conjure a bottle or two to go with the tadmon?

(I knew it! She's only interested in my wine making abilities...)

There's a dear. We can reminisce over old times together,

Of course...

talk about inconsequential things . . . like, for instance, that nasty rumor going around that you have some sort of wicked plot up your sleeve. Totally groundless, I'm sure. I mean, after all we've been through together, you'd never do anything drastic without consulting first with me, now, would you?

How these rumors get around is, of course, beyond me. My loyalty to Prince Blackpool could NEVER be brought into question!

Trust me, my dear Bethel, I wouldn't DREAM of doing anything unexpected without consulting you first. ;-)

So be there at 8 sharp, Vector -- you know I hate being kept waiting. If you're a really good boy, I just might even let you play with my monocle.

A pity that I couldn't make it. Playing with your... monocle would have been very entertaining! ;-)

Perhaps another time.

~~~~Vector~~~~


1999

From: Maurine Starkey
Subject: Happy Birthday, Vecky Pooh!

How is my little 'Love Squid'?

I thought that I would be the one to wish you a happy birthday. But alas, your pesky monocle went and spoiled that little plan. Seems there have been a lot of little plans spoiled lately. Such is the life of evil doers. Winning streaks are so few and easily mucked up by the 'help'. Never trusted those monocles myself. I think you make too much of them, Dear Vector. Even with out your monocle you are the most powerful wizard in Aperans. Let Dirk play with it a while. He'll get tired of it, like all his toys. Take for instance . . . Trisha, Tricksy, Dorkus and Casey June. That nasty little monocle soon will be begging to return to you. Ah, Dirk is such a lady-killer. Those he don't kill, he cripples.

Sorry, where was I? Yes, birthdays.

So what is another year to immortals such as us? We do not remember the dates, only the events of our lives. Take for instance that time I caught you skulking after me in the woods. I recall you were wearing your hunting clothes. I believe they were hunting for a tailor. You were up to no good, but I had surprises of my own. Remember? Lost a few pearls from the old skullcap that day.em?

Sometimes I think on those days. Then the memories become too much to deal with and I'm bound up emotionally and physically. "Handle, the physic!"

To think, we still have your dower puss in Aperans unless Dirk or Erik are successful in killing you we may have you for another hundred years. More moments of treachery, skullduggery, plots and counter plots, with the occasional midnight romp in the moonlight. Make sure to wear the velvet cap, so I can tell you from the moon. Better yet, if I'm not there, start without me.

I have to say it. Vector, you are the Sun, the Moon and the Stars to me. I could go on, but I would make an asteroid of myself. Better I just wish you a happy birthday from afar. (MO, waves goodbye, wiping a tear from her cheek.) The farther away the better.

Happy Bday Vector.

May your points never be deleted.

MOTCO


2000

From: Dirk Blackpool
Subject: Vector's Birthday Greetings

My dear Vector - were you expecting this to be Dirk? Not today. I know a few things myself, as I'm sure you're aware. It was exceedingly easy to hack into his primitive email account.

It's your birthday once again, my sultry companion in skullduggery. I wouldn't dream of forgetting it. Or any number of the little tricks you've pulled since I've known you. Seems like forever, doesn't it? Well, I'm willing to let bygones be bygones. Really.

Come down to the dungeon this evening to see what I've got cooked up for you. Just enter the large cauldre... umm, hot tub and wait for me. Don't bother to wear a hat. Those embroidered, purple velvet swim trunks will be nice enough. I might even let you play with my monocle if you're very good. And especially if you're very bad.

The Witch Bethel

 


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