From: Dirk Blackpool
As I am about to embark upon my annual Dungeons of the World vacation tour, I am afraid that I must keep this birthday greeting regrettably brief, MsMoo. However, I will be sure to have Vector take many pictures of me for you to post on your website when I return. I am quite certain that you'll have more than enough room for them if you merely delete all your pictures of that Hercules person. Anyone who counts himself as a friend of Xena is surely someone who does not deserve to share web space with me.
While you're at it, I think you might be well-advised to delete all content which does not specifically revolve around me. As my dear father Saris used to tell me, the key to excellence is single-minded obsess-- I mean, single-minded dedication; such has been the driving force which fuels my quest to destroy Greystone. Granted, I have not succeeded yet, but it is only a matter of time. Vector, if that is you laughing back there, I would very much like to know precisely what you find to be so amusing. No, no, please share the joke with all of us. Nothing? Are you quite sure? Good.
Well, MsMoo, as my coach is about to depart, I'm afraid that I must bid you farewell. I would offer you the opportunity to accompany me -- the "designated victim" rate on these dungeon tours is always half price -- but it appears that Vector has just volunteered to serve in that capacity. How thoughtful of him.
Prince Dirk Blackpool
My darling prince,
Thank you for your kind greetings, my prince. However there is certainly plenty of room for more pictures of you, as many as you like. I would have thought Xena might be one of your students gone "good" however. In the beginning, she did you proud, then she met up with that irritating blond (undoubtedly related to Greystone somehow) and things just went south from there. Perhaps we can bring her back to the fold? As for that Hercules fellow, his huge muscular arms remind me so much of you, my lord, that I can hardly resist him. Especially when he's fighting that delicious Ares, who seems to be stealing from your wardrobe.
Please have a dangerously fruitful trip, my prince. Don't eat the fishcakes at the tower of London though--I think they may have gone bad...quite deliberately!
Your faithful subject,
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