Thrice-Told Tale #1

Vector

by Rus Hall

One rainy evening the wizard Vector was sitting alone at a back table in the Sword and Skull Tavern. He was nursing a crawler as well has his ego. It's tough being an evil wizard without your monocle, and without much money to boot.

As fate would have it, a grizzled old pirate makes his way to his table in search of a drinking partner. He drops into the seat opposite the wizard and orders two crawlers.

A bit perturbed at the interruption of his self-pity, Vector quickly reviews the old sea dog; mid fifties, peg leg, missing an eye, and a hook where his right hand should be.

After a little small talk, Vector inquires about the mans injuries. "Must be some stories there."

"Aaargh. That there be." Hoisting his gnarled wooden leg onto the table, almost spilling his drink, he grumbles, "Lost this one to a shark, I did. Ship had capsized off the coast of the Ashen Plain. There I was hanging on for dear life to the hull of my ship. Prayed to the Gods to deliver me. What does I get for it. Chomp! One bite and it was gone. Hope the scurvy bastard choked on it."

"How about the hook?" inquires the wizard, now more interested.

"Shiver me timbers" he says, "A few years back we were prowling the southern coast. Took a few of Baaldorfs fat merchant ships. Well, we must have pushed our luck a bit too far cause the next day we were set upon by one of the royal navy's own galleons. They boarded us and that fool Eric Greystone, aargh, cut me wrist to the bone. We got away, but I got this in trade. I'll make him pay for that one, I tell you."

When the old man stopped his cursing, Vector pressed for more. "And the eye? How did you lose the eye?"

"Pha . . .," he spat, "Seagull flew over the ship one morning and pooped right in it."

Taken aback, the wizard cries, "You lost your eye from that?!?"

"Well, you see, it was the first day with the hook."

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