Please Save Your Own A** Tonight
set to the tune of Luck Be a Lady Tonight from the
musical Guys and Dolls.
It's a bustling afternoon at the Dunfirm Tavern. Justin Greystone is slumming
with his buddies - a mug of ale in one hand, his poker hand in the other and a
Winslow hovering at each arm. Life couldn't be better. A relaxing afternoon, a
hot date in the evening, and no worries at all.
Just then Erik dashes in, followed closely by Marko.
Erik [very heroically]: Justin! There's danger in the kingdom.
Justin [very laconically]: Not this time, Erik. I've got a date
tonight and I'm not about to cancel it.
Erik: What? [clearly stunned] It's your duty to save the kingdom.
Justin [sets his ale down, leans over and pokes Erik accusingly in
the chest]: Listen here, little brother. If I went with you, I wouldn't be
saving the kingdom. I'd be saving your butt.
[breaking into song]
They call you Hero Prince, but I have always thought
At times you have a very unheroic way of getting caught.
I'm on a date tonight, the pickings should be lush,
And yet before this evening is over, I'll have to save your tush.
You might get trapped by Blackpool -- you want to bet a keg?
And so the best that I can do is beg . . .
Please save your own a** tonight, please save your own a** tonight.
Please, if you've ever been a hero to begin with, please save your own a**
Please let a big brother see, how smart a guy you can be,
I know the way you always get your butt in trouble -- I want one lousy night
Poor Marko certainly will tell you, it isn't fair, it isn't nice,
The way you always wander straight towards certain doom
And think that we should pay the price.
[Marko nods enthusiastically]
So please join the party tonight, never get out of my sight,
Stick with me Erik, but if you insist on going, I won't save your a**,
Please save your own a**, please save your own a** tonight.
Please save your own a** tonight, just save your own a** tonight,
Please, if you ever loved your brother to begin with, care for your keister
Please, let a big brother see,
Please, let your big brother see,
How smart a guy you can be.
How bright a blonde you can be.
I hate the way you always get your butt in trouble -- Give me one lousy night
Please save your own a**, your own a**, let your poor brother be!
Why rush off to go fight with strangers, please have a seat, please have a
[Marko obligingly grabs a mug of ale and moves toward a chair but is
frozen in his tracks by an icy glare from Erik]
Gods, if there's one sure thing that we can bet on, its . . . that your
timing will always stink!
[Lucille thrusts a glass in Erik's hand while Margaret tries to push him
into a chair]
Sit down, drink up, sit down, shut up, sit down, drink up, shut up.
So please join the party tonight,
A helluva party tonight,
Never get out of my sight,
Or you won't live to see light,
Stick with me Erik, but if you insist on going,
Stick here Erik, dang fool Erik,
Please save your own a**,
Just save your own a**,
Sit down and shut up,
The Winslows'll put up,
[Margaret and Lucille wink salaciously. Marko nearly passes out.]
Please save your own a** tonight.
[Erik leaves the tavern in a huff. Marko follows reluctantly, with many a
wistful backward glance at the Winslows]
We told you, he'd still go -- wanna bet he'll be attacked?
He's goin' out, goin' out, goin' out goin' out -- whack!
|Free Use -- no restrictions
For questions, comments or to send submission for the website,
contact the webmaster at
For questions or comments about the Wizards and Warriors
Mailing List, contact the list administrator at
This site contains copyright material whose use has not been
specifically authorized by the copyright owners. This is a fan site only and is
not affiliated with any motion picture studios, Warner Brothers, CBS, Don Reo
Productions, Randi Brooks, Jeff Conaway, Julia Duffy, Tim Dunigan, Thomas Hill,
Jay Kerr, Julie Payne, Duncan Regehr, Don Reo, Clive Revill, Ian Wolfe or any of
the additional cast or crew of Wizards and Warriors.