The Twelve Days of Blackpool

Feel free to sing along to the tune of 12 Days of Xmas

Santa Dirk

by Anna M.C.

On the first day of Christmas, Dirk Blackpool gave to me,
A lighting hawk en fricassee.

On the second day of Christmas, Dirk Blackpool gave to me,
Two spiked boots,
And a lightning hawk en fricassee.

On the third day of Christmas, Dirk Blackpool gave to me,
Three French kisses, (hey, a girl can dream, can't she?)
Two spiked boots,
And a lightning hawk en fricassee.

On the fourth day of Christmas Dirk Blackpool gave to me,
Four vicious slurs,
Three French kisses,
Two spiked boots,
And a lightning hawk en fricassee.

On the fifth day of Christmas, Dirk Blackpool gave to me,
Five leather things! (And no, I'm NOT telling you what they were.)
Four vicious slurs,
Three French kisses,
Two spiked boots,
And a lightning hawk en fricassee.

On the sixth day of Christmas, Dirk Blackpool gave to me,
Six wars-a-waging,
Five leather things! (No, I'm STILL not telling you what they were.)
Four vicious slurs,
Three French kisses,
Two spiked boots,
And a lightning hawk en fricassee.

On the seventh day of Christmas, Dirk Blackpool gave to me,
Seven Barkin winnings, (He cheats.)
Six wars-a-waging,
Five leather things! (Don't you WISH you knew.)
Four vicious slurs,
Three French kisses,
Two spiked boots,
And a lightning hawk en fricassee.

On the eighth day of Christmas, Dirk Blackpool gave to me,
Eight sexy greetings, (Hi.)
Seven Barkin winnings, (Strip Barkin is fun. Just ask the chat room)
Six wars-a-waging,
Five leather things! (Well, maybe if you ask REALLY nicely.)
Four vicious slurs,
Three French kisses,
Two spiked boots,
And a lightning hawk en fricassee.

On the ninth day of Christmas, Dirk Blackpool gave to me,
Nine plots-a-hatching,
Eight sexy greetings,
Seven Barkin winnings,
Six wars-a-waging,
Five leather things! (Hmm . . .nah. Won't tell.)
Four vicious slurs,
Three French kisses,
Two spiked boots,
And a lightning hawk en fricassee.

On the tenth day of Christmas, Dirk Blackpool gave to me,
Ten prisoners shrieking,
Nine plots-a-hatching,
Eight sexy greetings,
Seven Barkin winnings,
Six wars-a-waging,
Five leather things! (Mine -- all mine!)
Four vicious slurs,
Three French kisses,
Two spiked boots,
And a lightning hawk en fricassee.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Dirk Blackpool gave to me,
Eleven lists-a-keeping, (Enemies, what else? Certainly not Christmas shopping lists.)
Ten prisoners shrieking,
Nine plots-a-hatching,
Eight sexy greetings,
Seven Barkin winnings,
Six wars-a-waging,
Five leather things!
Four vicious slurs,
Three French kisses,
Two spiked boots,
And a lightning hawk en fricassee.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Dirk Blackpool gave to me,
Twelve presents ticking ("Unicorns? For me? You shouldn't have!")
Eleven lists-a-keeping,
Ten prisoners shrieking,
Nine plots-a-hatching,
Eight sexy greetings,
Seven Barkin winnings,
Six wars-a-waging,
Five leather things!
Four vicious slurs,
Three French kisses,
Two spiked boots,
And a lightning hawk en fricassee!
(Tick. . . tick . . . tick . . . BOOM!)

Dirk doesn't go in for long-term relationships. ; )

Tidings of comfort and joy. (NOT!)

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