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1. The Unicorn of Death Episode Four Act 1 |
Night of TerrorWritten by Bill Richmond
ACT ONE FADE IN: SCENE 1 GREYSTONE and ARIEL are walking through a beautiful unspoiled clearing. Greystone is leading Ariel’s black-and-white lapdog, WOJE, on a leash. GREYSTONE Ariel, can we get back to the picnic? We've been walking the dog forever. Let's just eat and get outta here. ARIEL Why? It’s beautiful here. We have a perfect spot for a picnic. With lots of shade. I hate the sun. It makes your skin old and wrinkled. (settling down on the blanket; Greystone settles down beside her) Squinting makes you wrinkled, too. That's why you never see me squint. If somebody says something I don't understand, I never say . . . (squinting) . . . what do you mean? I always say . . . (forcing her eyes wide open) . . . what do you mean?
GREYSTONE I don't like it here. ARIEL I don’t see why not. It's beautiful, and there are no crowds. (picking up Woje, who begins to whine) I hate crowds. There are always people with colds and icky things. GREYSTONE It's creepy around here. ARIEL Oh, c’mon, tell me more about the legend. GREYSTONE I don’t wanna talk about it. ARIEL (to dog; baby talk) Oh. Big, stwong Gweystone is afwaid of ghosts and gobwins, isn't he, Woje? Greystone gives the dog a disdainful look as she cuddles it. ARIEL Go and sit by the twee. GREYSTONE We are on the grounds of Castle Karnaj. In fact, it's right through those woods there. Ariel turns around as Greystone points. Cut to forbidding view of the CASTLE. ARIEL So? GREYSTONE So? Things have happened in there that you don't want to know about. ARIEL Like what? GREYSTONE Like people turning into wild beasts. ARIEL Oh, my. Why don't you . . . pour the wine and tell me some more. GREYSTONE Why don’t we . . . talk about the food. It looks terrific. Did you fix it? ARIEL Of course not. I don't even know where the kitchen is. GREYSTONE I bet you told them what to make, though, right? ARIEL Yeah, I said make us a picnic. GREYSTONE Well, you set a nice table. ARIEL You’ll clean up the mess, won't you? GREYSTONE Oh, sure. ARIEL Have some quiche. GREYSTONE No thanks. I don’t eat that. ARIEL Hey, you're not disappointed, are you? I mean, you're not one of those clowns who thinks women should cook and clean and all that . . . garbage, are you? GREYSTONE Just a fleeting thought. He holds up his goblet. GREYSTONE To getting acquainted. ARIEL To getting acquainted. She toasts, drinks, and continues nattering on. ARIEL After all, that's what servants are for. I figure my job is to look pretty and desirable for my husband. Whoever that turns out to be. Greystone laughs uncomfortably, feeling on the spot. ARIEL I mean, if a man wants a wife to do all those things, he can marry one of those blowsy barmaids they have at Dunfirm Tavern . . . You know, the kind your brother’s always chasing after. Greystone looks off silently . . . thinking about that. ARIEL Right? GREYSTONE Right. Pass the carpacca salad, please. ARIEL Not yet. First I wanna hear about all the wild parties in that house. GREYSTONE They weren't wild parties. They were terrible things! ARIEL Oh. Okay. Just tell me six of ‘em. Greystone sighs and hangs his head in exasperation. ARIEL Five? CUT TO:
SCENE 2 A male SERVANT bearing a platter is waiting on KING BAALDORF and LATTINIA, who are dining alone at opposite ends of an enormous table. Baaldorf takes food from the proffered tray as the servant bows. BAALDORF Why isn't Ariel eating with us? LATTINIA Hmm? BAALDORF Ariel! LATTINIA Ah. She's on a picnic with Greystone. BAALDORF Ariel? Out in the daylight? LATTINIA Oh, she'll stay in the shade. She hates wrinkles as much as I do. Lattinia takes food from the tray of the servant, who has walked around to her end of the table. BAALDORF Oh, I like the wrinkles around your eyes. Gives you character. LATTINIA What do you mean?
The servant exits out of frame. BAALDORF Oh, Lattinia, you shouldn't worry so much about your age. Baaldorf gets up and crosses over to the back of her chair. BAALDORF After all, you could be a grandmother soon. LATTINIA Ah, well, not too soon, I hope. Anyway, Edwin, I don't mind getting older, I, I just mind looking older. She primly dabs at her mouth with her napkin. BAALDORF You’ll always look young and lovely to me. Baaldorf kisses her on the cheek. LATTINIA Edwin, please . . . my hair. BAALDORF What hair? LATTINIA There's a time and a place for everything. BAALDORF All right, you pick the time, and I’ll pick the place. LATTINIA Just finish your mashed carpaccas. BAALDORF So Ariel and Greystone are out in the woods fooling around. LATTINIA I -- She and Baaldorf attempt to see one another, peek-a-boo style, around the huge candelabras on the tabletop. LATTINIA I didn't say that. They’re on a picnic. BAALDORF Well, when you and I used to go on picnics . . . LATTINIA All right, all right. Oh, they're such a lovely couple. BAALDORF Hmm? LATTINIA Couple! I just know he’s going to ask her to marry him! Then they’ll move into the castle, with us, you know, I've already discussed that with Ariel. Baaldorf looks like this is news to him. LATTINIA We'll remodel the east wing . . . Lattinia, looking first one way and then the other, appears confused about which direction is east. LATTINA Whatever. I figure we can turn that monstrous old banquet hall into two master bedrooms . . . one for him, and one for her. BAALDORF Oh, like ours. LATTINIA Right. It's quiet in there, too, so she can enjoy her afternoon naps. You know how I feel about being disturbed during my afternoon nap. BAALDORF Do I. LATTINIA And with her here all the time, we can still go shopping every single day! Hmm! It's all so exciting, I can hardly wait! Baaldorf lifts his wineglass in a toast. BAALDORF To the happy couple . . . Lattinia returns the toast from across the table. BAALDORF You and Ariel. Lattinia considers this for a moment, then drinks cheerfully. CUT TO:
SCENE 3 A half-reclining Greystone is holding a mirror for Ariel, who is brushing her hair and holding Woje, as they continue their discussion of the legend of Karnaj. ARIEL And no one has ever come out of Castle Karnaj alive? GREYSTONE Not if they killed anything while they were in there. Woje starts whining. ARIEL Boy, Old Karnaj must have like that pet spider of his a lot. After she finishes primping her own hair, she begins grooming Woje with the same brush. GREYSTONE Well, supposedly, he loved all living creatures, but when somebody killed that spider, he went bananas. ARIEL And he put a curse on the castle. GREYSTONE Right! That's why you never see anybody in these woods. Nobody wants to be near the place . . . especially after dark. Alerted by a slurping noise, Ariel turns to see Woje eating out of the picnic basket. Gasping, she grabs him and pulls him over in front of the mirror that Greystone is still holding. ARIEL Woje! Wook what you've done, you bad wittow boy! She makes Woje look in the mirror. ARIEL You got carpacca salwed on your wittow nose-nose. The dog doesn't like the lecture and after Ariel sets him down, he takes off into the woods, barking. Greystone sets the mirror down as Ariel, hands on hips, calls after the dog. ARIEL Woje!! Woje! Greystone waves his hands in a sneaky "go away" motion, apparently urging the annoying dog to vamoose. ARIEL Come back here! (to a guiltily startled Greystone) Whistle for him, I can’t. He opens his mouth to comply, but Ariel interrupts him. ARIEL You know how to whistle, don’t you? He nods and shrugs in an offhand manner. ARIEL You just put your lips together, and blow. GREYSTONE I’ll get him. Greystone gets up and plunges into the woods, his voice strained with more than a little teeth-clenching resentment. Woje! Woje! ARIEL Woje!
SCENE 4 The dog bounds by the camera and Greystone charges after him, crashing gracelessly through the woods. GREYSTONE Woje! Come here, ya little mutt! He stumbles and falls into a bush.
SCENE 5 There is the Castle Karnaj, forbidding and ghostly. Woje is running toward it, away from the camera. Ariel dashes in front of the camera, pursuing the dog. ARIEL Woje! Don’t go in there! They had terrible parties! CUT TO:
SCENE 5 Greystone scrambles to his feet. We see his horrified expression. GREYSTONE Ariel! Don't go in there! I'll get him! Greystone tears off after Ariel, into an extreme camera close-up. Ariel!
SCENE 6 The barking Woje reaches the castle and hurls himself at the front door, whining and scratching.
SCENE 7 Concealed nearby, we see the evilly smiling face of VECTOR, who is emitting a red beam of light from his extended fingertip.
SCENE 8 As the beam of light touches it, the front door glows red and creaks open. The dog runs in.
SCENE 9 Vector, arm still extended, glares and waits.
SCENE 10 ARIEL Woje! Ariel runs up to the castle door and pauses. ARIEL Woje! Ariel enters.
SCENE 11 Ariel stands alone in the cavernous hall, looking very small and lost.
SCENE 12 GREYSTONE Ariel! Greystone comes charging up and enters the castle.
SCENE 13 Vector indulges in an evil chuckle at their predicament.
SCENE 14 They are in a great hall . . . obviously abandoned for centuries. The windows glow a dusty blue. The furniture is covered with white cloth. Several suits of armor stand at attention around the room. Over the huge fireplace is an imposing painting of a man, mustachioed and menacing, with eyes that pierce one's soul: Karnaj. Greystone and Ariel stop short in the middle of the room and take it all in. The dog is nowhere to be seen, and is momentarily forgotten by his two stunned pursuers. GREYSTONE Ariel. She jumps and screams. GREYSTONE Listen, I am not the smartest guy in the world – ARIEL Yes, you are! GREYSTONE Thanks. But I know this is not a good place to be. ARIEL It is kinda spooky. But I bet it would look nice all fixed up. She wanders away to look at the painting. GREYSTONE Please, don't even suggest it. He follows her reluctantly. ARIEL Look! That must be what's-his-name. GREYSTONE Karnaj. Close-up of painting. ARIEL Right. He sure was a funny-looking old creep. GREYSTONE Only kidding. She didn't mean it, friend. ARIEL Oh, Erik, don't be silly. GREYSTONE Okay, but let's get out of here. I've . . . gotta get a haircut. ARIEL I'll bet there's some fabulous doodads under some of these covers. She blithely goes exploring. GREYSTONE Ariel, will you leave things alone? Greystone grimly follows her. As he cringes back and half-draws his sword, she whips a dust cover off to reveal a lovely old carved table, and gestures toward it like a game show hostess displaying the grand prize. ARIEL See? Isn't that beautiful? She catches sight of something off to her left, gasps, and makes a beeline for it. ARIEL A closet! She crosses to a door and opens it as Greystone tenses and grabs for his sword. ARIEL There are even some old clothes in it! She reaches in and pulls out an old, tattered, jeweled coat and holds it up for Greystone. He relaxes. ARIEL He dressed pretty fancy. GREYSTONE Yeah, well, they say he was a musician. He turns apprehensively toward the painting. GREYSTONE And a good one! She puts the coat back and shuts the door, dusting off her hands. ARIEL Well, he must have been weird. I mean, what kinda guy plays with spiders? GREYSTONE Ah, she likes spiders. So do I. She crosses to another area where a wooden chest sits against the wall. ARIEL Look at this! GREYSTONE Don't open it! ARIEL Why? It might be filled with jewels. She lifts the lid. It is empty. GREYSTONE Maybe he took ‘em with him. ARIEL Look at that! Hands clasped with delight, she walks toward what appears to be a covered high back chair. GREYSTONE A chair. ARIEL Yeah, but look at the size of it! I'll bet it was his throne. She pulls off the cover. There is nothing under it. They are both startled. Greystone quickly draws first his dagger, then his sword. Befuddled, Ariel looks from side to side for the vanished chair. GREYSTONE We're getting out of here . . . now. Ariel dusts off her hands and walks back over to Greystone. ARIEL Okay, okay, but I think you can put your sword away, unless you’re planning to kill another chair. Greystone slams the dagger back into his sword hilt and puts his sword away, each movement adding emphasis to his angry words. GREYSTONE Where's . . . the dog? ARIEL Don't call Woje a dog! He's my wittow baby darwing. GREYSTONE Well, get your wittow baby darwing and let's get our wittow behinds out of here! ARIEL Sweet talker. She shouts in a shrill, businesslike tone, heading back the way they came. Greystone follows. Woje! C’mere, baby. The dog comes from somewhere, barking. ARIEL Woje! You bad wittow boy! (to painting) So long, gramps. It’s a weird place you got here. GREYSTONE What a joker! (whispering to Ariel, grasping her by the shoulders) Be quiet, be careful, and let’s go. Don't step on anything. They creep forward at an exaggeratedly cautious pace. ARIEL Like what? GREYSTONE Like bugs, or spiders . . . just don't kill anything. He stresses each word with an emphatic hand gesture. ARIEL Okay, okay. Something whines like a mosquito and bites her on the back of the neck. ARIEL Ouch!! She swats it with her hand. There is a blinding flash of lightning, a deafening CRACK of thunder, and the manaical laughter of Karnaj.
SCENE 15 We are CLOSE ON the face of Karnaj lit by the lightning.
SCENE 16 We hear the barking of Woje, who has wisely decided to leap from Ariel’s arms and hightail it out of there. ARIEL Woje! Woje! Greystone takes Ariel's hand and pulls her quickly toward the door. They almost make it, but at the very last second a gleaming steel sheet slams down over the door. Ariel screams. Then in quick succession, we see similar steel sheets SLAM down over the windows. As Greystone and Ariel huddle in each other’s arms, we hear a cacophony of Karnaj’s terrifying LAUGHTER from every corner of the castle. The camera cuts to another closeup of Karnaj, then another shot of Ariel and Greystone in a terrified embrace.
SCENE 17 Vector, still outside the castle, watches as it seals itself. His face illuminated by intermittent flashes of lightning, he laughs as maniacally as Karnaj.
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT ONE
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