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Monocle Mayhem
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Monocle Mayhem

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3

Monocle Mayhem
Part Two

by Celine L.

Celine was sitting in the computer room reading an e-mail from Anna. She said that Prince Dirk and Geoffrey Blackpool with Vector were here in our world looking for pieces of the monocle. It was mysteriously broken up, so Vector said. Celine got up and looked around the room and went to look in the rest of the house. She was in the basement when she thought she could hear something, but what was it? She came upstairs. As soon as she in the kitchen she knew what it was. The dog was barking her head off. Someone was here that shouldn't be. Celine went to the front room to grab the cordless phone, in case there was trouble.

Brandy barked on. It wasn't her, "I'm caught around this pole AGAIN". It was more like "Someone is here and I don't know them."

Celine went out through the backdoor to find Dirk and Geoffrey Blackpool with Vector standing in the yard with Brandy at the end of her chain showing all her teeth to them. "Hey dog wonder, cool it." The Italian Greyhound/Terrier mix just looked at her co-owner as if she was nuts.

"It's all right. They aren't totally harmless, but they are OK." The dog laid down and just looked at them.

Geoffrey bent down to the dog's level. He moved his hand out to Brandy. "Hello puppy."

"I wouldn't do that Geoff."

"Why?" asked the prince. The dog jumped up and ran over to the porch and picked up something red and went back over to Geoffrey. She dropped it on the ground in front of the Prince. The Prince very slowly picked it up and looked at it. It was round and there was drool all over it. "What is it?"

It's a Kong, it's her chew toy. Though she wants you to throw it. Don't get too wild, she is on a short chain."

"Why do you have the dog chained anyway?" asked Vector. "They were meant to run free."

"Well not here in Saint Paul, Minnesota. If they caught her roaming around, they would cart her off to the dog pound. Then I would be murdered by my house mates. Though not a bad idea at times, I mean being murdered, but that is a no-no here too."

"Enough of this. We've come for the monocle piece," yelled Dirk.

"Yes, I know. I haven't come across it yet. Your turn to come in and look for it. Don't mess the place up, I just cleaned." Celine opened the back screen door and let them in.

"I want to play with the puppy," said Geoffrey.

"You'll be sorry, Geoff. She won't stop bugging you to throw it."

"This will be fun," said the Prince.

"Ugh Geoff, if anyone asks you what you are doing in the yard," Celine said as she came off the porch to him, "just say you are my friend from CA. Don't say Celine's friend. You are Gayle's friend."

"Who is Gayle?" asked Dirk.

"That is my birth given name. Celine is my net name. Don't say Prince in front of your name either."

"Why? I am a Prince. I have the right to use it."

"Not here in Saint Paul or at any of the Listians' places can you use it. The only people that use that are in Europe and only Vector sounds European. Unless you are the guy going by the symbol now, his first name was Prince. Or if you are Charles, Henry or William or a few others. You guys can't use it. They will cart you off to Saint Peter if you aren't careful."

"What is Saint Peter?" asked Geoff.

"The state mental hospital, so don't say anything that isn't necessary. OK?"

"Sure, Celine."

The rest went into the house. Celine could hear Geoffrey laughing as he threw the Kong around the yard for the dog.

"OK Vector, do your thing and find it and get out of here."

"Now Celine, that isn't a nice thing to say." Said Dirk.

"Well after the way you treated some of us, I am surprised that I didn't just try shooting you first and asking questions later. By the way, it was your fault that Greystone got away. The push kick I hit him with wasn't meant to keep him out like a light forever, you twit. I'm surprised that he hit his so-called head on the trees in the first place. So it's your fault he got away, but blame me if you want. You bird brain." They stepped from the kitchen into the dinning room/ front room.

"Bird brain, you can't call me that, you little bug," yelled Dirk as he reached around and grabbed Celine's shirt. As soon as he picked her off the ground, her feet started to swing. The right foot connected with a very soft spot on a male. Vector even cringed. Dirk dropped Celine and she landed on her feet. Not too gracefully, but on her feet.

"I don't like to be picked up Dirk, don't ever do it again. You can try to mess with me, but it's a semi-bad idea. I'm in a bad mood and when I am this way, that means I am not nice. Vector, find the piece and then get out. I can't believe I am trying to get you out of here. Man, am I in a worse mood than I thought." She just glared at them.

Vector closed his eyes and started to mumble some words. Vector opened his eyes and they started to look around the room. Nothing could be seen in the two rooms.

"Vector, what have you done now?" yelled Dirk.

"Now wait a second. It doesn't mean that it's not here. It means it's not in these rooms. Cool your jets. Man, I can't believe I use your name as my passwords at work. Let's try the computer room."

"How do you use my name at work?" asked Dirk.

"After I sign my name on, I have Pdirk as the first password and then I sign my name on again and put in Blackpool as the second password." Celine walked around the TV set and into a doorway off the front room. "Hey Vector, I've got something glowing in here."

"That is it." yelled Dirk. The two came around the TV to the doorway. The room was one massive computer and CD's piled everywhere. In the middle of a cabinet full of CD's there was a glow. Vector stepped forward.

"No let me get it. If you break anything I will have to lie to Bogg how it happened. If I go for it and break it I won't have to lie."

"So who is Bogg?" asked Dirk.

"He one of the people I share the house with. He is my best friend. Though I'm sure that he will deny knowing me sometimes," Celine said with a laugh. "He and the other guy that live here are the ones that taught me Tae Kwon Do. Jay has a black belt and Bogg has a red one, though he is trying for his black in a few weeks. So don't trip on the bricks." She walked across the room to the cabinet and got down on her knees. She reached in to the stack of CD's and found a sliver of glass in between the stacks. "So here you are, my pretty." She turned around to the visitors. "So who gets the prize?"

Dirk stuck out his hand to her.

"But first you have to do something for me." Celine got up and walked out of the room. As she passed Dirk, she slapped her hand on his. "Here is five for you and no change." Celine kept on walking past the Prince and the Wizard. She opened a door off the dining room and went through it. They could hear her going upstairs. The two could hear her moving around above them. Then there was no movement, but they heard her say, "Hey Geoff, I'll give you a break from the dog. Come into the house and then you can leave." As Celine came down the stairs, Geoffrey came into the house.

"You were right, she won't let you stop throwing that thing," said Geoffrey as Celine came out of the doorway. She carried something in her hand.

I did warn you," said Celine with a laugh. She put the object on the table by the door to the stairs. "Now here is what I want in return for the monocle piece." She was smiling a little too much. "I just put batteries in here so this will last a long time. So if you don't get it right, I will keep it up until you do or Bogg and Jay get home. So this is it. Vector I want to record you saying BARKIN, as you did when you beat Dirk in that game. Dirk I want you to say HI and BYE for me and Geoffrey I want you to say MAKE ME A CHEESE SANDWICH. Very easy, gentle beings. You can do it the right way the first time and you can be out of here in a couple of seconds." Celine was grinning from ear to ear.

"Barkin is all you want?" asked Vector.

"No I want BARKIN, as you said it when you won the game for your hat."

"You know about that?" asked Vector.

"Yes, and lots more. Now are you going to do it or not?"

"Yes," said the Wizard. He had the look of not liking be blackmailed into something. "I am ready." Celine just smiled at him. "BARKIN" said the wizard. Celine's smile became bigger. It looked like she was holding in a squeal. She looked at Dirk.

Vector moved so Prince Dirk Blackpool was closer to the object on the table. Dirk stepped closer and said, "hi," and waited a second and said, "bye".

"No Dirk, that's not what I wanted. I wanted the way you said it to the twits in the South that one time. I want the good Dirk Blackpool. The one that will spit blood in your face. Now try it again."

Dirk stood there for a bit, looking like he would blow his top for the zillionth time in his lifetime. Then he spoke, "HI," then he said, "BYE." That time Celine did squeal with delight. Dirk moved away and Geoffrey moved up to the object.

"MAKE ME A CHEESE SANDWICH, VECTOR!" The Prince just smiled at the woman. She squealed once more. "I got it right?" asked Geoffrey.

"You bet you did Geoff. I love you guys, yeah, even you Vector." She reached around to the back pocket of her blue jeans and removed the sliver. She handed it to Dirk, "By your command, M'Lord."

"Vector, get us out of here, before she thinks of something else," said Dirk as he pulled the monocle piece away. The three stepped back and disappeared.

Celine turned the tape record off on her boom box. She smiled, "Now this is going to be fun. Off to the computer I go. Everyone is going to love a copy of this." She took the tape out of the box and headed off for the computer room The setup was always up and ready to go.

Chapter 3

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Monocle Mayhem Part Two

by Celine L.

Monocle Mayhem
Part Two