Geoffrey and Ariel in Unicorn of Death (1_187)

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Transcripts

1. The Unicorn of Death
2. The Kidnap
3. The Rescue
4. Night of Terror
5. Skies of Death
6. Caverns of Chaos
7. The Dungeon of Death
8. Vulkar's Revenge
Unfilmed - The Games

Unfilmed Episode
The Games

Act 1
Act 2
Act 3
Act 4

Copies of this unfilmed script can be purchased at Script City for $9.99/each.

 

GREYSTONE'S ODYSSEY

The Games

Written by Paul F. Edwards

 

Second draft - August 27, 1982
1982 WARNER BROS. INC
All Rights Reserved

 

This script is of an unfilmed episode.


We have altered the original format for ease of reading.

ACT ONE

FADE IN:

SCENE 1
EXT. JOUSTING FIELD - DAY

We watch as two Knights thunder toward one another, lances ready, and come together with one hell of a shock which flips one of them ass-over-teakettle through the air. The victorious Knight is GREYSTONE, who rides over to where the fallen SIR BOWDOIN is making a heroic effort to rise, shaking his head. There is a sound of LOOSE METAL from inside his helmet.

GREYSTONE

How was that?

BOWDOIN

Dynamite! My ears are ringing.

GREYSTONE

Sorry, Bowdoin. I was really working on placement more than force.

BOWDOIN

You got the whole ball of wax. Mmmm-mmmm.

He staggers as he gets to his feet. Some of his plating falls off.

GREYSTONE

Hey, I really want to thank you for practicing with me.

BOWDOIN

Don't mention it. After all, we're on the same team, right?

GREYSTONE

Yeah. I sure want to do better than I did last time.

BOWDOIN

You're not worried about Blackpool, are you? No way he can touch you in the joust.

GREYSTONE

He won last time. Best All-Around Knight. Against all comers.

BOWDOIN

Yeah, but he cheated.

GREYSTONE

He always cheats. He'll cheat again. That's why I need the edge.

BOWDOIN

I see your point.

(beat)

Talk is he's not going to show this time, truce or no truce.

GREYSTONE

Oh, he'll show. He wouldn't miss a chance to show off the gold belt.

As they converse, we see that we are in the midst of a huge encampment in which tents of many colors and sizes are being set up for a major tourney. Other Knights and their retinues are arriving, while still others are in practice for their various chivalric events. Grooms tend animals, Squires see to their Lord's pavilions, and peasant kids skitter around, celebrity hunting. One KID darts through a line of guards, arriving breathless.

KID

Wow! Sir Bowdoin! And Prince Greystone!

A guard is in hot pursuit, but Greystone waves him off.

GREYSTONE

Leave him, Guard.

The guard exits.

KID

Never thought I'd get this lucky. Can I have your signet marks? Please?

He holds out a couple of discs of cheap soft wax. Bowdoin makes his imprint with the base of his dagger. Greystone tousles the Boy's hair.

KID
(continuing)

Neat-oh! I collect these, see. I've got Sir Aggravaine, Sir Bolduc and Sir Lamorak . . . He won the Two-Handed Sword last year at Castle Droone.

He looks at Greystone expectantly.

KID
(continuing)

I never got any royalty, though. Yours'll be the best yet!

(to Bowdoin)

No offense to you, Sir.

Bowdoin smiles at the Boy.

BOWDOIN

Well, I've got to be off. I've scheduled a practice of my specialty with Marko this afternoon. See you later, Erik.

GREYSTONE

See ya.

He leaves and the Boy waits patiently as Greystone prints the wax with his ring.

KID

Oh, man! Wait'll they see this!

GREYSTONE

So, you're really into the games, huh?

KID

Yes, Sir! I know all the Knights and their records and everything. But this is the greatest thing ever.

GREYSTONE

The Aperranian [sic] Games. They don't come any bigger.

KID

I know! Four years ago I was too little, but my brother, Gil, saw it all. He's the one who turned me on to it.

They walk together along the lanes, through the multi-colored tents bearing emblems and pennons of various warriors who have come from afar to compete.

KID
(continuing)

You're sure to win All-Around Knight this time.

GREYSTONE

I'm gonna go for it.

KID

Gil says you had it won last time, until Blackpool cheated in the finals of the joust.

GREYSTONE

Cheaters never really win, son. In their hearts, they know they're losers.

KID

Maybe so, but he got the gold belt anyhow. An' it shoulda been yours.

GREYSTONE

I'll try that much harder this time.

The kid looks off and suddenly tugs Greystone's sleeve.

KID

Look! There he is!

 

SCENE 2
THEIR POV - BLACKPOOL AND COMPANY - DAY

BLACKPOOL is riding in with his usual arrogant self-possession, his Guard around him.

 

SCENE 3
ANGLE ON GREYSTONE AND THE KID

Greystone nodding. He never doubted it.

GREYSTONE

Now's your chance to get his mark.

KID

Are you kidding? That guy's the pits. I wouldn't take his mark for a dozen kolnas.

Greystone smiles at the Kid, pats him on the shoulder.

GREYSTONE

To get into the finals, just mention my name and show them my mark.

KID

Gee! That's great, Greystone . . . ah, Prince . . . Your Highness . . .

GREYSTONE

Erik.

The Kid beams like the boy in the Joe Greene Coke commercial.

KID

Thanks, Erik. I'll be out there pullin' for ya!

Greystone nods, smiles and heads inside his pavilion. The Kid studies his disc, elated, takes a deep breath, and bolts off into the crowd.

 

SCENE 4
INT. BLACKPOOL'S TENT - DAY

Blackpool, wearing the champion's gold belt, has set up a short impromptu target range on which he is practicing the battle-ax throw, using Peasants for targets. The idea is to come as close as possible to them without actually dismembering them or cleaving their skulls. A couple of sturdy Yeomen hold his Target by the wrists against a heavy dining table, set upright on its end. The Target moans. A near miss. Blackpool smiles. VECTOR is pacing nearby, irritated. Blackpool aims again and fires. He seems rather pleased.

VECTOR

It's all rubbish, you know. Impractical rubbish, at that.

BLACKPOOL

Rubbish? My dear Vector, these games are a revered tradition.

VECTOR

A tradition we can ill afford. Our war chest is virtually empty -- we're broke -- and you want to come all this way to play games!

He spits the word out with exquisite contempt.

Another ax WHISTLES from Blackpool's hand, and there is a meaty THUNK O.S., immediately followed by a SCREAM and the sound of a BODY HITTING the dirt. Blackpool grimaces and studies his wrist action critically.

 

SCENE 5
ANGLE ON BLACKPOOL'S YEOMEN

They drag out one body while others hustle another miserable unfortunate into position.

 

SCENE 6
BACK TO SCENE

Vector comes nearer, making his point forcefully.

VECTOR

Moreover, since when are you the great upholder of tradition?

BLACKPOOL

Why, Vector, are you impugning my values? I've always had a fine regard for . . . the niceties.

As he speaks, the first ax WHISTLES toward the new Peasant's head. It's a near miss. The Peasant moans.

VECTOR

Humph!

BLACKPOOL

Besides, I'm the champion. The Best All-Around Knight. How would it look if I avoided defending my title?

VECTOR

I see. Suddenly you've developed a sense of honor?

BLACKPOOL

Precisely.

He lets another ax fly and the Target shrieks in fright. Another near miss. Blackpool smiles. Not bad.

VECTOR
(intensely)

We should be hard at it, using this period of truce to raise money. Our tax men should be in the field . . .

BLACKPOOL

Squeezing the peasants? Wasn't it you who told me that you can't get blood . . .

He fires a third ax. There is a scream. Blackpool winces at the result. The body of the Target hits the floor.

BLACKPOOL
(continuing)

. . . from a stone?

Vector has had about all he can stand of this double-talk.

VECTOR

What is this all about? I know only too well that you have something up your devious royal sleeve.

Blackpool turns to Vector and touches the monocle. Vector is afflicted with a sudden jolt of sciatica that doubles him over.

BLACKPOOL

Let me point out something that may have escaped your notice. I give the orders here. I and I alone. And if you don't like that arrangement, I suggest you take a walk until you're reconciled to it.

Blackpool touches the monocle again and Vector doubles over even more, bent at the waist like an ancient. Blackpool hefts another ax.

BLACKPOOL
(continuing; grins)

Unless, perhaps, you'd like to help with my marksmanship. Hmmmm?

Vector scuttles for the tent door like a crab, his eyes smoking with inner wrath, and disappears outside.

BLACKPOOL
(continuing)

Next!

They drag in the new Target, blubbering, and Blackpool tests his ax with his thumb.

CUT TO:

 

SCENE 7
EXT. PRACTICE FIELD - DAY

Sir Bowdoin is leading MARKO, who seems to have reservations, towards a large bare ring of earth, a practice circle. In their hands they carry curious weapons fashioned from a couple of matched, sturdy clubs with ends like miniatures [sic] maces. They are medieval style nun-chucks.

MARKO

Boy, I don't know about this. These are some ugly suckers.

BOWDOIN

Come on, Marko. You'll get the feel of them in no time.

MARKO

That's what I'm afraid of.

They get to the circle and Bowdoin presents his weapon for a demonstration.

BOWDOIN
(instructing)

Combat with Dunders is essentially simple. See? Like this . . . and this.

He goes through a series of complex maneuvers, whirling the things in sync like fan blades in motions too fast for the eye to follow.

MARKO

Could you run that by one more time?

He does, turning and bending, and the Dunders slash gaping holes in the air around him.

MARKO
(continuing)

It's like fighting the wild Geeker.

BOWDOIN

I've never seen a wild Geeker.

MARKO

That's what I mean.

Bowdoin raps him cheerily on the arm, knocking Marko back a few steps.

BOWDOIN

That's funny. Listen, all you have to do, really, is to kind of defend yourself. I'll do the rest.

MARKO

Right. Mmmmm.

BOWDOIN

Ready?

Bowdoin take his stance. Marko reluctantly raises his Dunders.

MARKO

Agility isn't really my thing. I'm a strength man.

BOWDOIN

Hai!

Bowdoin gives a violent "Ki-Ai" that startles Marko, and the fight is on. What happens is that Marko gets the living hell drubbed out of him, with Bowdoin repeatedly playing, "Oh, When the Saints . . ." on Marko's gourd and shoulders. Marko gives it his manly best, but it's no use: the pain begins to exasperate him. Finally, he gives a bellow, throws away the Dunders and goes for Sir Bowdoin like Ted Hendricks on amphetamines. He lifts him bodily from the ground, whirls him around overhead, casts him down in the dirt and sits on him. Bowdoin, to his credit, takes it in good spirit.

BOWDOIN
(continuing)

See, you're not allowed to do that, though. I barely got started.

MARKO

I nearly got finished. Boy, am I glad you're on our side.

 

SCENE 8
INT. KING BAALDORF'S CEREMONIAL TENT - NIGHT

It is the occasion of the Pre-Game Banquet, a great social affair. Minstrels provide music around the groaning board, which is loaded with venison, capons and a whole roast boar. The atmosphere is one of the high festivity, as the Kingdom of Baaldorf hosts its close friends and allies from Camarand.

As the mead horns are raised on high and buxom Wenches fill them, LATTINIA has Greystone backed into a corner in serious conversation.

LATTINIA

You know how much I've always believed in you, Erik. Would I let my daughter marry some shmozo?

GREYSTONE

No, Ma'am.

LATTINIA

Well, that's the point, you see. And that's why you've got to go out there and win Best-All-Around Knight!

GREYSTONE

I'll do my best, Your Majesty.

Lattinia studies him with some nervous agitation.

LATTINIA

Can I trust you to keep a secret?

GREYSTONE

I would have my tongue torn out before I'd betray your confidence.

LATTINIA
(purring)

You would, too, wouldn't you, you darling?

(back to business)

Listen! Not even the King must know, is that clear?

Greystone nods affirmation. Lattinia checks behind the arras, looks around to see that no one can overhear, leans toward him.

LATTINIA
(continuing)

I've made a humungous bet on you.

GREYSTONE

You have?

LATTINIA
(nodding)

The Crown Jewels.

GREYSTONE
(appalled)

No!

LATTINIA

Isn't it awful? You are going to win, aren't you?

GREYSTONE

Well, yes, Ma'am. I'm going to try. That is, I'll do my level best, but . . .

LATTINIA

No buts! You've simply got to, now. Oh, Edwin would be just livid if he knew I'd done this.

GREYSTONE

Did you have to be so . . .

LATTINIA

I had to go for broke! You've no idea what Ariel's wedding is going to set us back.

GREYSTONE

Yes, but the Crown Jewels!

LATTINIA

She needs a whole new wardrobe. And then there's the cathedral, the parade, the renovation of the castle for the ball. What with the decorating and catering and favors for the guests . . .

GREYSTONE

Does it have to be so . . . grand?

LATTINIA

We're talking about my daughter! Besides, I want to start you kids off on the right foot.

(looking at Baaldorf)

Marriage isn't easy.

Greystone looks like he'd like to forget the whole thing.

From the table, KING BAALDORF roars a summons:

BAALDORF

Lattinia! Erik! Where the devil are you people?

Lattinia takes Erik's hand and squeezes.

LATTINIA

You can't let me down, Erik. Promise?

GREYSTONE

Ah . . . I'll . . . yes!

LATTINIA

You are such a prize, you know that?

(beat)

Love your hair.

She gives him a chaste kiss on the cheek, though we have the feeling he definitely does wild things to her hormone level, and she slips away. Greystone squares his shoulders, facing what he must do, a bit unsteadily, and strides after her.

 

SCENE 9
ANOTHER ANGLE - BAALDORF AND THE GUESTS

Lattinia joins King Baaldorf, who is speaking, and ARIEL, at the head of the huge table, where the Knights of Baaldorf and Camarand are feasting. Greystone takes his position across from them, beside Sir Bowdoin and Marko.

BAALDORF

. . . And so, because of these games, there is a truce among all nations. We meet our foes in a spirit of manly comradeship, of wholesome athletic competition.

"Hear, hears" from the group. Lattinia nods pleasantly.

BAALDORF
(continuing)

Keep in mind, too, that each and every one of us wishes nothing less than to win his event. But remember, it's not whether you won or lost . . . but how you played the game!

He smiles beatifically at his turn of phrase, amid a mixture of cheers and a good many hoots. Lattinia looks horrified and leaps to her feet.

LATTINIA

Wrong!

A shocked moment, all eyes on her.

LATTINIA
(continuing)

What my husband means is . . . go out there and play fair . . . of course . . . But by all means play to win! Now, what are you going to do?

The crowd cheers "Win."

LATTINIA
(continuing)

I can't hear you.

The crowd now roars back "Win," then explodes boisterously with those sentiments. Everyone rises spontaneously, including the King, mead horns raised on high, and a deafening huzzah goes up. At that moment, the tent flap is swept back and Blackpool is suddenly there. In the dead silence that follows, all eyes go to him.

BLACKPOOL

Hi.

BAALDORF

Blackpool!

BLACKPOOL

That's the nicest welcome I've had since I conquered Lankanshire.

BAALDORF

What is your business here, Sir?

BLACKPOOL

Just thought I'd drop by to wish your 'champion' all the best. Not that it'll do him any good.

Greystone takes a step toward him in reflex anger.

GREYSTONE

I'll see you on the field, Blackpool.

BLACKPOOL

And I'll see you under it!

(a beat)

Forgive me, I didn't come here to get into an argument, merely to pay my respects.

He moves to Lattinia and bows.

BLACKPOOL
(continuing)

Queen Lattinia, you're looking magnificent . . . for a lady of your years.

LATTINIA
(sotto)

Jerk.

BLACKPOOL
(turning to Ariel)

And Princess Ariel. You look lovely. Where have I seen that dress before?

ARIEL

You've never seen it. It's brand new. Four hundred seamstresses worked for five years to make this dress.

BLACKPOOL

No.

(snaps his fingers)

The barmaids at the Sword and Skull Tavern wear dresses identical to that. Of course, theirs fit a little better.

ARIEL

You stink.

BLACKPOOL

That's what you said that night up in the Mountains of Madness.

ARIEL

Why, you . . . !

GREYSTONE

All right, Blackpool, get out of here before I throw you out.

BLACKPOOL

Just leaving. I'll let you all get back to your beer and pigs' knuckles.

He turns and goes out, leaving them all staring at each other and the egg on their collective face.

LATTINIA

That man is awful.

GREYSTONE

Never mind, Your Highness. I'll make him pay dearly for his insolence.

LATTINIA

You better.

Baaldorf tries to regain his composure, harrumphing, heartburn acting up.

BAALDORF

Forget about him. Let's begin the feast.

They do, hammer and tongs. Greystone picks at his food and Marko notices that Bowdoin isn't eating at all.

MARKO
(to Bowdoin)

You've got to eat if you want to keep you [sic] strength up.

BOWDOIN

Yeah . . . yeah, I know. Blackpool gives me stomach fire. I'm gonna go get some air.

He gets up and leaves, Marko and Greystone watching after him with concern.

 

SCENE 10
EXT. BAALDORF TENT - NIGHT

Sir Bowdoin comes outside into the moonlight, strolls a few paces. Abruptly, from nowhere, a group of black-clothed, faceless, gymnastic Men (i.e., Ninja) drop on him, as if from the moon. They knock him out, lift him and bear him away into darkness as we:

FADE OUT.

 

END OF ACT ONE

 

Act 2

 


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