Summer 2000 Theatre & Musicial Review

The Aperans' Horror Picture Show
Reviewed by Shadoe Riter

Well, it's got horror all right. But there are nuggets of fun spread throughout the show and they certainly shine brightly. The costuming is pretty amazing. And the lack of it at certain points is, too.

The singing? It would get an excellent rating but, to this reviewer, it sounded like the lead good guy was lip syncing to tunes previously recorded (by the mundane crooner Barry Manilow no less). Now, if that's not enough to put you off your lunch of Blue Mountain Goat Cheese and Roast Tadman, I don't know what will. Also, beware of the tap dancing. The squeamish may want to close their eyes or make a discreet trip to the lobby.

Overall, it's worth the thirty-kolna admission price - especially when you consider the sheer amount of bare skin and black leather featured in the show.

Still undecided? Check out the synopsis, then call 1-800-LEATHER to reserve your tickets.

The Plot:
On the way to visit old Wizard Traquill to find out where Ariel and Marko have disappeared to, Prince Erik Greystone and his fiancee, Princess Tamara Tronin, run into horse trouble (Southwind throws a show) and seek help at the site of a light down the road. After all, the Land of Storms is no place to be stuck in out in the middle of the night.

The light, however, is coming from yet another secret hideout of Dr. Dirk N' Leather, a maniacal power freak, who is in the midst of a dastardly experiment. He's (once again) created the perfect weapon and intends to lay waste to his enemies (the good guys of Aperans) 

Prince Erik Greystone and Princess Tamara Tronin "enjoy" a spot of dinner at the secret castle hideout of Dr. Dirk N'Leather in the local production. Photo courtesy of the AHPS Photo Team.

Please click here to go to a exclusive photo section featuring all the other characters in The Aperans' Horror Picture Show

with the help of this odd household retinue, presided over by a wizard named Vector and his sister-in-socery Bethel, and assisted by a very bad tap dancing groupie-in-residence, Ariel Baaldorf.

Trapped in this twisted castle, Erik and Tamara fear for their very lives. They can't leave, but they know to stay is to invite madness. But, what else can they do? They dance and sing and eventually have diner with Dr. Dirk N' Leather and his compatriots (see photo above).

Later on in the evening, as the result of a previous mind control experiment gone horribly wrong, Marko plows through the castle on a draft horse, singing a poignant tune and wondering whatever happened to his Saturday nights off. Dr. Dirk N' Leather puts an end to this interruption without thinking twice (the blade on the axe wasn't dull this time) until Wizard Traquill turns up at the castle in search of his missing nephew, Marko.

Traquill knows that Dr. Dirk N' Leather is a bad guy from way back and sets out to thwart him, but Dirk moves too fast, even attempting to seduce Tamara along the way. Erik responds with his usual heroics and Tamara is, of course, saved. Dr. Dirk N' Leather responds with threats of death, dismemberment and other hobbies he so enjoys. Just as it appears he will succeed, Traquill, in an impressive feat of white magic (that actually works as planned), resurrects his nephew and whisks Marko, Erik, Tamara and himself out of the castle.

This leaves Dr. Dirk N' Leather fuming and his "servants" Vector and Bethel smirking. It's so very typical of the household happenings. Dirk even accepts Ariel's offer of "comfort" since he's so depressed over the turn of events. Ecstatic, she leads him off to her chambers. Vector and Bethel trot off to a chamber beneath the castle for mystic delights of their own. And all is as it should be once more in Aperans, Land of the Highly Dysfunctional.

Musical Highlights & Exclusive Lyrics:

"I'll Marry Ya, Tamara" by Prince Erik Greystone/Barry Manilow (let's give credit where credit is... ah... due)

"I'm Warped" by Dr. Dirk N' Leather and the cast (don't miss this one - check out the pelvic thrusts - wow!)

"Whatever Happened To Saturday Night?" (aka "Why Did I Take This Job?") by Marko

"Don't Toucha-Toucha-Touch Me!" by Princess Tamara Tronin (as sung to Dr. Dirk N' Leather)

"Please! Toucha-Toucha-Touch Me!" by Princess Tamara Tronin (as sung to Prince Erik Greystone - click on the link for the exclusive lyrics!)

"I'm A Super Hero" by Prince Erik Greystone/Barry Manilow (extended version, of course)

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This first ever review in the Entertainment Section of The Aperanian Herald has been proudly sponsored by The Sword & Skull. Remember to stop by for an after show Crawler and a friendly game of Arm Death!