Xaviar Pendable
First Tadmon Life
300 DarkAlley Rd

Dear Princess Tamara,

Congratulations on your approaching birthday. While we were consulting the actuarial tables in order to bring your monthly premiums into line with your new age, one of our informants brought a piece of information to our attention.

It appears that you have recently become involved in one of our kingdom's many esoteric death sports. To wit, we have been informed that you have been spending time in the company of Prince Erik Greystone, affectionately known as "The Blonde Reaper" around our offices. I'm sure that you're aware of Prince Erik's regrettable effect on the life span of his companions; despite his acknowledged status as the greatest hero of all time.

If you wish to continue in this suicidal course of action, you have two choices: we will either be forced to raise your monthly premiums to a level more in keeping with your projected life span, or you can choose to switch your policy to our special "Greystone" plan. This is a new addition to our collection of policies, and we're proud to say that so far it has been very popular.

The Greystone plan is modeled after an old policy that we designed to the precise specifications of one of our clients whose 'companions' have the unfortunate habit of dying. Despite his undoubted charm (our secretaries still whisper about him), we recommend that you avoid him. Nobody in Aperans has enough money to pay the premiums on both a 'Greystone' and a 'Bond'.

The terms of this policy are somewhat unusual. Your premiums may seem high at first, but they will decrease with each month that goes by where you fail to succumb to the Prince's 'fatal' charm. Just a little insurance joke there. To compensate for the high premiums, the value of your policy will continue to increase over time. Consider it a just reward for your survival skills.

While this may bear a surface resemblance to gambling, I assure you that it is quite legitimate. Prince Justin himself was one of the first to sign up for this 'unique' coverage option and, though we can't name names until the deal has been closed, one of the Prince's closest companions is seriously considering our offer.

Please inform us of your decision as soon as possible, since this policy may not be available for long. A 'rival concern', so to speak, has been countering our generous offer with an unsavory one of its own. I don't want to give too many details but suffice it to say that it's almost the opposite of our own. That is, the holder of the policy collects money when the Prince dies, with the amount decreasing over time if the Prince fails to expire.

It's totally unethical, of course. We've sent messengers over to the address given for the firm, but so far have received no response. In fact, our messengers never came back. I'm going over there myself after I finish typing this letter, but rest assured that I will draw up whichever policy you decide on as soon as I deal with this Dagger Ebonypond. Have a wonderful birthday.

Your faithful Servant,

Xavier Pendable.

The Greystone Policy Theme Song

Cyanide has a funny smell,
Nooses chafe me so,
There's no water in the well,
So with Erik I will go!

"You're courting death!" so many cried,
Why can't any of them see?
As long as I'm at Erik's side,
Death will come to me!

My joy for life is in the past,
Bear baiting no longer thrills me,
But traveling with Erik is a blast,
And I'll do it 'till it kills me!

Happy Birthday, Princess Tamara!


Note: The pictures that I played with to make the ones on this page came from CJ, Mistress of Screen Captures! A round of applause, if you will. ;-)