First Tadmon Life
300 DarkAlley Rd
Dear Princess Tamara,
Congratulations on your approaching birthday. While
we were consulting the actuarial tables in order to bring your monthly
premiums into line with your new age, one of our informants brought
a piece of information to our attention.
It appears that you have recently become involved in
one of our kingdom's many esoteric death sports. To wit, we have been
informed that you have been spending time in the company of Prince Erik
Greystone, affectionately known as "The Blonde Reaper" around
our offices. I'm sure that you're aware of Prince Erik's regrettable
effect on the life span of his companions; despite his acknowledged
status as the greatest hero of all time.
If you wish to continue in this suicidal course of
action, you have two choices: we will either be forced to raise your
monthly premiums to a level more in keeping with your projected life
span, or you can choose to switch your policy to our special "Greystone"
plan. This is a new addition to our collection of policies, and we're
proud to say that so far it has been very popular.
The Greystone plan is modeled after an old policy that
we designed to the precise specifications of one of our clients whose
'companions' have the unfortunate habit of dying. Despite his undoubted
charm (our secretaries still whisper about him), we recommend that you
avoid him. Nobody in Aperans has enough money to pay the premiums on
both a 'Greystone' and a 'Bond'.
The terms of this policy are somewhat unusual. Your
premiums may seem high at first, but they will decrease with each month
that goes by where you fail to succumb to the Prince's 'fatal' charm.
Just a little insurance joke there. To compensate for the high premiums,
the value of your policy will continue to increase over time. Consider
it a just reward for your survival skills.
While this may bear a surface resemblance to gambling,
I assure you that it is quite legitimate. Prince Justin himself was
one of the first to sign up for this 'unique' coverage option and, though
we can't name names until the deal has been closed, one of the Prince's
closest companions is seriously considering our offer.
Please inform us of your decision as soon as possible,
since this policy may not be available for long. A 'rival concern',
so to speak, has been countering our generous offer with an unsavory
one of its own. I don't want to give too many details but suffice it
to say that it's almost the opposite of our own. That is, the holder
of the policy collects money when the Prince dies, with the amount decreasing
over time if the Prince fails to expire.
It's totally unethical, of course. We've sent messengers
over to the address given for the firm, but so far have received no
response. In fact, our messengers never came back. I'm going over there
myself after I finish typing this letter, but rest assured that I will
draw up whichever policy you decide on as soon as I deal with this Dagger
Ebonypond. Have a wonderful birthday.
Your faithful Servant,