Special Agent Dana Scully, "X-Files"

I first met Galen when Mulder and I were working on a nasty little cult case over in Illinois. All these innocent girls were being brainwashed into worshipping some mysterious leader . . . it still makes my skin crawl to think of it. We never did find out who the bastard was, but we made it hot enough for him that he cleared out of the area in a hurry.

We questioned Galen as a routine part of the investigation, since he was teaching a martial arts course which several of the women were enrolled in. He taught me some very nice moves.

How would I describe Galen? Charming, very charming. Charismatic, really. Quite attractive . . . I'm sorry, what was I saying?

It's funny, but I remember that Mulder actually suspected that Galen was somehow involved with the cult for awhile. I swear, Mr. Conspiracy Theory is just so paranoid sometimes. Really, Galen's not the type at all. He's a great guy. A wonderful person . . . Galen is The Way . . . Galen is the Shining Light . . . We all love Galen and offer our bank account numbers in sacrifice . . .

[SCULLY LURCHES OFF ZOMBIE-STYLE, WITH HER EYES GLAZED OVER
AND HER ARMS OUTSTRETCHED]

Princess Ardala, "Buck Rogers"

You mean he's still alive?

Well, Galen was the second man I found floating frozen in space, a little while after Buck. I seem to have this uncanny knack for thawing men. I suppose it's not too surprising, though. Just look at me.

No matter how much we interrogated him, he kept insisting that he ended up out there because of magic. He'd ramble on about wizards and witches, and called me "Bethel" once or twice at awkward moments. I personally think his brain might not have been as well preserved as his body, if you know what I mean. His body made up for it though . . .

My overall impression of Galen? He struck me as being very spoiled, very vain, and very used to getting his own way. People like that are always so trying, aren't they?

He claimed to be a great warrior, so I tried him out on the Draconian fighter craft. Unfortunately, everything he touched broke down. He said he had similar luck with horses. I eventually had him stuffed into a space suit and shot back out into orbit for the good of the ship. I mean, he was attractive, but when you're plotting a takeover of Earth, you've got to keep your priorities straight.

[ARDALA RESUMES PLOTTING AND PRIMPING]

Dr. Natalie Lambert,
"Forever Knight"

Most people don't know this, but "The Raven" used to have a comedy night on Wednesdays that Nick and I attended quite a bit. You see, if you spend any amount of time with Nick on a regular basis, you find you need as many laughs as you can get. Nick pretty much wrote the book on vampire angst, and, of course, being a coroner isn't exactly a barrel of monkeys either, if it comes to that.

Anyway, I'll never forget the night we saw this extremely striking man, all dressed in black, performing the absolute worst comedy I've ever heard. I admired Galen's courage, if not his common sense. Vampire audiences can deliver some pretty biting criticism -- and they always go straight for the throat.

With a little help from Nick, Galen made it through the set in one piece. I think the Asian woman with him -- Mica? Maya? Miko? -- ended up using her drumsticks to beat off hecklers more than she used them for rim shots. To be perfectly honest, Janette says that Galen Blackpool is the main reason "The Raven" doesn't do comedy nights anymore.

Galen and Nick really seemed to hit it off after the show; apparently he had an older brother who was as overbearing as LaCroix. As for me, well, Galen had this odd mix of arrogance and insecurity that really caught my attention. I ended up going out with him a few times, but I think it was doomed from the start. After all, I was already involved with one depressed, demon-plagued blond guy from a dysfunctional family; two would be overkill.

I don't mean to be rude, but I'd better get back to work. Not that this guy's going anywhere.

[LAMBERT TURNS ATTENTION BACK TO AUTOPSY IN PROGRESS]

Callisto [Blackpool], "Xena"

Favorite memories? We were only reunited recently, so I don't have many memories of him at all, but . . .

Wait a minute. Why? Who's asking? Has someone been telling vicious lies about my brother? Who? Tell me! Right now, or I swear, I'll rip your lungs out and . . .

[REMAINDER EDITED FOR CONTENT]

Wade Welles, "Sliders"

I remember when I first met Galen… We'd just slid in from a world inhabited entirely by gamblers and the guys were still arguing about who was going to win the last race. (We had to slide just before it ended.) So, naturally they didn't pay attention to me, even though I'd had a hard landing. Those stone flagstones are brutal! The next thing I knew, this cute guy was giving me a hand up! There was this instant connection between us.

Arrogant? No, I don't think so. But then, I spend most of my time with two "geniuses". Nothing like knowing that you can build a nuclear weapon out of tinfoil to pump up a guy's self esteem.

I was a little nervous at first; I've had bad experiences with meeting men on parallel worlds.

Remind me to tell you about the time I nearly ended as lead vocalist to an all vampire band. And then there was the time I thought I'd met my soul mate from a past life… and had to take poison to get away from him! Geez, is it any wonder I'm a little gun shy? But there was something about Galen that I just couldn't walk away from. Maybe it was kismet, maybe it was the fact that he was so different from the men I usually hang around with, or maybe it was the armed guards that he stationed at all the doors "for my protection."

We spent the whole week together while he showed me all the sights of … Aperans? I think that was it. Nice country, even if some of the people are a little odd. It was nice to have some time away from the guys. I asked about them a couple of times, but Galen said they were spending all their time in the basement with this guy called Vector. I don't really know what they were doing down there. I asked them about it afterwards, but all they did was mutter something about a unicorn's head and a thing called a firecon? Guess they were doing one of their experiments.

Unfortunately we only slide through a world once or I'd have been glad to keep seeing him. (pause) I heard that, Professor! And he was *not* a jack-a-ninny! Shut up, Quinn!

[AT THIS POINT WADE BECOMES INVOLVED IN A HEATED ARGUMENT WITH THE REST OF THE GROUP]

Gabrielle the Bard (with Xena), "Xena"

You know, when Galen first returned to Aperans, I had the oddest feeling of deja vu. I could've sworn I'd seen him before. I mentioned it to Xena at the time, but she just laughed and told me that we've met so many jerks on our travels that after awhile they all begin to look alike. I didn't think that was it, though.

It drove me crazy for about a month -- like an itch you can't quite scratch, or something -- and then, wham! It hit me: Crete, about three years ago, during the annual Bard of the Year competion.

I had just placed second -- right behind that overrated hack Homer -- and I was feeling kind of grumpy, when who should walk up to me but this blond guy who'd clearly been having a little too much mead. He raved about how much he loved my work, and I was flattered, of course. But then he put his arm around me and claimed that he couldn't help but notice how I'd made direct eye contact during my performance, and liberally laced each word with barely controlled lust for him. He also informed me that he had a weakness for women who spoke softly and carried big sticks. So I whispered "Drop dead" and whacked him on the kneecaps with my staff.

I think I made quite an impression on him, yeah. Possibly a permanent scar. As I told you, I go from Gabby to Crabby when I lose. But we get along fine now. . .

[REMAINDER OF COMMENTS DROWNED OUT BY
XENA AND GABRIELLE'S LAUGHTER]

Leela, "Dr. Who"

[WHEN WE CONTACTED LEELA TO DISCUSS HER RELATIONSHIP WITH GALEN, SHE DECLINED TO BE INTERVIEWED. ACTUALLY, SHE ATTEMPTED TO STAB ONE INTERVIEWER WITH A JANIS THORN AND SICCED K-9 ON THE OTHER, BUT WE ASSUME THAT MEANT SHE WAS DECLINING.]